The fear I face almost daily….

1 Sep

I am participating in the Proverbs 31 GAP study about fear and ultimately faith. God has done amazing things in my life since I started participating in Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies but I still have a LONG way to go.

If you have been part of P31 OBS for sometime and have read my previous blogs you know that due to my poor choices no, due to previous sin in my life, my sweet daughter, Alma Rose, has not spoken to me in over 5 years. These choices I made were when she was a child/teenager. It wasn’t until she was 29 and some health issues reared their ugly heads that she made the decision to no longer have me in her life.  Her medical team determined her health issues were caused by repressed memories that involved me.

Alma stopped talking to me mid August 2009. I have to be honest, 2010 was one of the worse and best years of my life. The reality that she was really cutting me out put me into one of the darkest times of my life but it also was so dark the only light I could see was that of Jesus shining through His word and others who touched this hurting mama’s heart. It was the beginning of my heart walk with Jesus. Previously, I had head knowledge of Jesus but not a personal relationship. I do now.

My fear, though, that I fight almost every day is that I will never hear her voice, her giggle or see her beautiful face in person ever again, as in, never, ever again. When this fear creeps in I stand firmly on the Word of God. It’s the only way I can face today without her and not think about tomorrow with out her.

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Christmas 1997

Sept 2003-Alma was living with her dad in Memphis and they invited me to come down and surprise Alma at her Bridal shower.

Sept 2003-Alma was living with her dad in Memphis and they invited me to come down and surprise Alma at her Bridal shower.

The verse I pray over this broken relationship is:

Matt 19:26 ” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with  God ALL things are possible.”

and I am reminded:

Romans 8:1 ” Therefore, this is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

and I am no longer that person:

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old is gone, the new is here!”

God only wants the best for me:

Jeremiah 29:11 ” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares The Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

That hope and future includes my sweet daughter, Alma Rose!

When I am having a really hard day  I remember the word God  gave me for  2014:

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James 1:6 ” But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind”

I don’t know about you but I want to stand on the rock, the Word of God, and not be blown and tossed by the wind.

I have peace knowing through family, friends and my Proverbs 31 sisters in Christ literally all around the world that there are prayers going up daily for our reconciliation.

When I forget this and still, despite all the wonderful promises in God’s word, feel fear occasionally, all I have to do is reach into my pocket and pull out this little token that my OBS sister gave me back in April:

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I must always remember that fear and faith are complete opposites and I choose to side with Faith. I have hope of reconciliation because I have Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  I hope and pray that my walk from fear to faith blessed you today!

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5 Responses to “The fear I face almost daily….”

  1. bloggerlovestheking September 1, 2014 at 8:41 pm #

    Remind God of His promises. Praying with you that your daughter will turn around and you will have some beautiful years together. From a sermon I hear – God never, ever runs out of options, and He can change this. God spoke you and I into existence – He can surely change this relationship. Change your focus from your circumstances and your God and also when you let Him arise focusing on His greatness, fighting your battles and expect great things. Change your focus from the problem to the promise. Believe today God is changing your favor. Many prayers for you.

    • bloggerlovestheking September 1, 2014 at 8:44 pm #

      Sorry mistyped the above. Remind God of His promises. Praying with you that your daughter will turn around and you will have some beautiful years together. From a sermon I heard – God never, ever runs out of options, and He can change this. God spoke you and I into existence – He can surely change this relationship. Change your focus from your circumstances and turn them to your God and let Him arise focusing on His greatness, fighting your battles and expect great things. Change your focus from the problem to the promise. Believe today God is changing your favor. Many prayers for you.

  2. nubcube September 6, 2014 at 3:52 pm #

    Thankful that God is making all things new and I am prayerful for God showing me ways that He has changed and remade me for the better and for His use. I know that His word says that He will perfect the things that concern us(ps 138:8) and when our ways please the Lord He makes even our enemies(and I am not calling you or your daughter an enemy) to be at peace with you (prov 16:7). Believing for peace and victory in your situation with your daughter. ❤

    • nancysilvers2013 September 6, 2014 at 5:01 pm #

      Thank you so much, Valerie, for your words of encouragement and standing in agreement with me that God will bring peace and victory in my relationship with my daughter!

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