A heart fully surrendered to God

24 Oct

I was raised in a church, was part of the choir, served on the altar as an altar girl, was active in the youth group but my walk in church as a child was religious and not spiritual. By that, I mean we did things out of tradition, not Spiritual hunger. It took many years of making some really poor choices and hard lessons for me to learn that my walk needed to be based on a close relationship with Jesus, God’s son and not on traditions that were made up by man.

In late Nov. 1990(could have been 91-I’m not sure) my sister Amy took me to an Aglow International Conference in Orlando, FL-it was there that I responded to an altar call and asked Jesus to come into my heart. I would love to tell you that I immediately changed, grabbed onto my Bible and the Word of God and lived a life glorifying God but sadly that is not what happened. When I came home I had no one to disciple me-I didn’t even know I needed to be discipled.
At the time I accepted Jesus, I was married to an abusive alcoholic. I was bound and determined to “fix” him so as many times that he left and went to live with his mother after a really bad, violent, drunk, I took him back thinking that if I just loved him enough he would change. That didn’t happen-you can not love someone to change, only God can change a person in that miraculous way. While I was married to this man, I made many poor choices that affected my daughter as I have written about in previous blogs. She no longer talks to me and that initially devastated me but now I know that God is using this time to mold me and show me that it is HIS love that matters most. In the old testament we are told how Abraham was asked to sacrifice Issac and because of his obedience, his willingness to sacrifice his only son, God spared Issac and provided another sacrifice.(Gen 22:1-14) I know in my heart by accepting this time away from my beautiful daughter that this is a sacrifice I am making to God. This is a sacrifice I willing to make in order to fully accept and live in God’s unconditional love. It has been a long journey-this journey to accept God’s unconditional love but one that I no longer regret. It took a women’s conference in Nov 2010–yes almost 30 years wandering in the desert-to let the wall that separated me from God’s grace and love to come down. Today I know my redeemer lives in my heart, loves me and because of that love that he so freely gives I serve HIM in anyway He asks. I used to do things because I was asked to do it. I thought it was expected of me. If I didn’t do it-who would? I feared that if I said no someone would not like me or gossip about me. Now I know if those things happen that I need to pray for those who persecute me.( Matt 5:44) Today, all that matters is “What is God calling me to do?” I am a sold out yes girl for Jesus. Does that mean I am fully confident and equipped to do what he calls me to do? Absolutely NOT! I have come to understand that God does not call the equipped but instead equips the called. The only thing I need to do is say “YES LORD” and he does the rest. Each day, through His Word, love, Holy Spirit guidance and the wonderful women He has put in my life I am becoming more and more equipped to do what He has called me to do. My sweet sister’s don’t let 30 years of knowing about God happen, you can KNOW HIM now, if you will let him. Bask in His unconditional love-there is nothing that can separate you–nothing you’ve done in the past, your failings today nor those you and I will undoubtedly do in the future-nothing can separate us from the love of God.(Romans 8:31-39).
He loves you! If you do not know Jesus in this way please take a moment and ask Him into your heart, Believe that he died on the cross for your sins and Confess that He is Lord of all and I promise He is waiting with open arms. He loved you before you were even born and still loves you today. Won’t you accept His unconditional love today? I am so happy I did and would like to be the first to say “welcome home”. If you asked this today would you please comment and let me know? I’d love to partner with you in prayer as you begin to know the love of God in a deeper way. God Bless you today and always!


2 Responses to “A heart fully surrendered to God”

  1. prince26155 October 24, 2013 at 4:12 pm #

    Thank you for sharing your heart so openly with us. I’ll tell you one thing I’ve notice, our story may vary, yet we all struggle as women trying to find that #PerfectLove we crave. We end up too often thinking we have no value. Yet all the while, God, who considers us as His #priceless treasures, is calling us to come under His wings to the security we have longed for.
    Barbara Prince OBS Small Group Leader/Prayer Warrior Team

  2. Marilyn October 24, 2013 at 11:27 pm #

    Thank you for sharing your testimony . He will give the strength and courage to trust in His timing and plan. Blessings as you seek to follow God and rest in His love.
    Marilyn(OBS Group Leader)

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